Air Peace



Why am I still single and searching? I had expected to be married by the time I was 25, then I changed it to 26, then 27, 28, now I am turning 30, I am still SINGLE and SEARCHING for the RIGHT PERSON.

I want to be married. I want a native wedding followed by a white wedding. I want the security, reassurance and status of being joined in wedlock to a man I love and who loves me.

What am I doing wrong? What is the matter with me? What? What? What? Many questions, no answers. Yes, I have wasted a few years dating the wrong guys who were just out to have a good time, I didn’t know that I was being played for a fool.

 I have prayed, yes prayed, attended night vigils, fasted and prayed some more, yet here I am at the cusp of my 30th birthday still single and alone. God, where are you????? All my friends and colleagues are all settled down, married and having children. God!!! I have prayed and waited for you to send me the right mate? Why are you delaying???

The above scenario is playing out in the lives of many young women in our society. These young women, if they do not get a hold of their emotions, they would begin to lose hope and run out of patience. This may lead them to throw caution to the wind and give their vulnerable hearts and precious bodies to anyone they meet who shows some degree of interest in them. This is not the best as they may just be setting themselves up to be used and dumped. If this situation plays out, the danger is that the women get even more frustrated, angry and bitter with themselves and the world.

Ladies, my advice if you find yourself in this situation where you are not getting anywhere near your desired objective of being settled in a relationship, is to be gentle and patient with yourself. Don’t be in a hurry. Yes, time is passing. But, you have to keep calm to avoid rushing things and getting into the wrong relationships because you think time is not on your side.

When you meet someone you think will turn out to be the right person, take time to know the person. If the person is worth your love, he too will have the patience and time to give to the relationship for it to develop. If this is not the case with him, it is a big red flag. Break up with him and move on.

Yes, time is passing, but I repeat again, take things at a slow pace, don’t let your desire to be married and settled down make you lose your sense of propriety, making you do some things that you wouldn’t do if you were not emotionally flustered.

In order to find love, we have to realise what we want out of a relationship.

We should have a fair idea of what and whom we desire and deserve, and then take the necessary steps to get just what we want.

When it comes to issues of the heart, there really is no “Idiot’s Guide” to help us navigate our love life successfully. This being so, many of us are left lost and often confused and hopeless when it comes to the game of love. But, as you are out there looking to meet and settle down with your ideal partner, here are some practical steps to take:

  • Believe in yourself and self-worth. You are an awesome person created in the image and likeness of God.
  • Have faith in God that He will grant you your heart’s desire as you pray. Bear in mind that God wishes the best for you – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
  • Stay positive. Speak and act always as if you have received your expected blessing – “ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” – John 16:24
  • Act positive.
  • Put aside jealousy and envy of your friends and colleagues who have settled relationships. Envy and jealousy block your own blessings. Be happy for others. This will impact positively on your expected desire.

Charles Anyiam-Osigwe

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