I am thirty years old and recently got married to a man of thirty-five. We have been married for nearly a year and now I feel like I made a big mistake. We didn’t know each other for that long when we got engaged as we were introduced to each other by our parents. It was an arranged marriage. Having turned thirty and not in any meaningful relationship, I was excited at the prospect of being engaged to a handsome, charming, upwardly mobile professional. It was an exciting time in my life, and planning the wedding was a lot of fun. Our parents are quite well off and the wedding was loud – no expense was spared and the guest list was over 2000.
Now we are married, I find myself feeling depressed. I am not sure what kind of man I married and what his true feeling for me are since it was an arranged marriage. I think I like my husband and believe that with time I will get to love him. My worry is will it be the same for him.
Dorothy, I know that a lot of arranged marriages do work. Do you think mine stands a chance of success?
The first year of marriage can be quite a challenge because you are coming down from the adrenaline rush of the engagement and wedding. Try getting to know each other better and find fun ways to be together. There is nothing stopping you from going out on dates as a married couple to bond and better understand each other. Instead of sitting around wondering whether you will grow to love each other, acknowledge that you like him and show him this by being affectionate towards him. Love begets love. He must have some feelings for you to marry you in the first place. This can be the basis for a long-lasting, loving marital life. You should not think about whether he will or will not get to love you. Approach your marriage with a positive attitude that your husband will love and cherish you, and you will love and cherish him. Believe and be positive about your life.