The Single Guy Diary (Part Six)


“This is good stuff you’ve done, Duke”. The Manager of Retro Hotel & Towers said cheerfully as he handed me my check of one of the biggest projects I’ve done my entire career.

That is just one of the varied positive comments I’ve had in recent times. People tell me I’m good at what I do; I over deliver, right on time. I love to always make sure of that.

My works have been featured on different newspapers and magazines within Nigeria and the UK and I’m beginning to enjoy the buzz I’m receiving from them. I feel I’m getting there; I’m becoming the man I’d always wanted to be.

However, as much as I’m getting fulfilled with my career, one thing depresses me all the time – my unfortunate escapades with women.

Every so often, I’d thought of just focussing on my career, but you and I know there is little one can do about those occasional rush of adrenaline when those heavily elated boobs and curves flashes you everywhere you turn. I for one cannot cope, so what I usually do is to masturbate those memories out of my system.

I just knew I had to do something about it as soon as possible else, I’d become that miserable proverbial workaholic who turns to his pillow every night.

I drove straight to Xquisit Cafe at the heart of Lagos’ downtown; an exclusive spot in Ikoyi, went straight to my usual corner and made my favourite order; fresh fish pepper soup and some freshly brewed beer. Trust me, you should have that at least once in your lifetime *winks*

It was just 30minutes past noon and I’d been at the cafe for about an hour, scrolling through my facebook feeds and having a good laugh at some of the posts and comments. One particular one got me really thinking; this girl named Jane Okorie has nothing else to post rather than “Men are jerks, wicked, foolish, cheats blah blah blah”. She’s done that consistently for over two weeks now that we’ve been friends on facebook.

I’d tried talking her into revealing why exactly she thinks “all men are cheats, jerks, ….” as she always posts but my kind-hearted advice always lands me insults and some angry smiley. So this day, I tried an entirely different approach; I fetched her email and sent her an encouraging message, why she can actually move on gracefully and meet that true guy that’d love her for who she is. She replied my mail with just a smile.

If you ask me, I don’t know what that means. I felt I at least deserved a “thank you”. Well, I closed my Gmail app, paid for my order and left the cafe.

While I drove out, I saw someone like Sophie dashing out of Moby’s clinic off Keffi street. I slowed for a clearer view and alas, it was her. Now you guess my panic meter just turned red.

Did she come for a pregnancy test? Is she OK? “Oh God, let this be a different thing”, I prayed. I reversed to give her a lift.

“Hey. Are you OK?”

“I guess so. Please can you open this test result?”

She handed me a yellow envelope. My heart raced to the sky, back and forth.

“You know what? Let’s get out of here first” I suggested.

She agreed and we drove off the scene.

The silence was getting too obvious as we both prayed for the same thing; may the test be a big negative.

© 2014 Michael Agene


This is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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