The Single Guy Diary (Part Nine)


Sophie was beginning to notice an unusual cloud over my countenance. I’m that bad at faking it.

“Don’t tell me you screwed it again” She asked with utmost concern.

“No. Not at all. Everything went just great”

She seemed confused for a second and then she goes blah blah blah about her day; how she went to make her hair in a friend’s exquisite saloon and was treated like the Queen of England; how she went to swim at the newly launched Rovers Palace and how she bumped into an old friend she missed so much – Ivy.

“Wait a minute! You know Ivy?” I quickly interrupted.

“What? Which Ivy are you talking about? Yea… sure. I had an Ivy as a bestie but somehow, we just kinda got tired of ourselves. It’s a ladies thing so please don’t ask why”

Now she’s totally fanned out my curiosity.

Neil was just there smiling at his phone in a very awkward manner, as though he was skyping with one of his many babes, and so unconcerned about all Sophie’s blabbing.

I wasn’t wrong after all. I took a peep over his shoulder and…you won’t believe he was actually skyping with Jane.

No. Wait a minute.

Last week, I saw him with Ivy; we’ve not even discussed that. Now I’m seeing him flirtatiously skyping with Jane; the girl I just had a date with.

Don’t ask me. I’m as confused as you are.

I tried very hard to keep my calm but the words escaped my mouth.

“Come o, are you guys using me or something?”

Like I just dropped a bombshell, everywhere just went dead. I could feel a heavy dose of confusion in the room.

We’ve been friends like forever and such statement should never have been thought of. But tell me, what do you do when it seems your friend – best friend – is dating all your crushes, behind your back; what do you do when the only female bestie you’ve been with for years has some shady relationships she never mentioned to you; what do you do when you’re caught up in this valley I am right now?

No, tell me!

Trust me. I’m just going to get wasted tonight and let this all pass away. Perhaps, I could wake up with a better explanation from the blues; the one that’d make more sense.

I grabbed a bottle of Baileys, dashed to my room and locked the door behind me; leaving Sophie and Neil in the sitting room, confused.

As though I was carrying a backpack filled with all my unfortunate sexual escapades the past ten years, I felt the straps heavily weighing me to the floor.

If I had a chance to turn back the past 15 years of my life, here is what I would do differently; I would have gladly given in to our house help who offered me sex when I was only 16. That would have given me the confidence to date the 10 crushes I had in high school that I was never bold enough to approach. I wouldn’t have been caught up in this rut with Neil, taking advantage of my unfortunate state.

No, wait! Did I just write that?

Please don’t take my advice. I’m drunk. I just hope to wake up tomorrow a new person, with a new focus and vision for my life, especially my relationships.

For now, I don’t know whether to call my ‘best friends’ friends anymore. I’m not even sure if I do know them as much as I thought. Not Sophie – my confidant. Not Neil – my buddy.

My hands are shaky. My head spins like a rolling dice. But never mind, I should be able to continue my diary when I wake up.

© 2014 Michael Agene


This is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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