I found myself looking forward to the weekend. I needed the break, really.
Ronke was on still my case about my messed up love life. Her words; ‘make a decision and move the heck on.’
If only it were that easy, I wanted to tell her.
Abel had been calling me the past three days and I hadn’t picked his call because I didn’t know what to tell him. I wasn’t ready to carry on an undefined relationship especially with him.
‘So when are you coming back?’ Ronke asked, watching me pack.
‘Tomorrow evening, hopefully,’ I said, folding an extra brassiere. ‘I wish I could take off more time. I need to clear my head.’
‘Take off forever if you like…rubbish.’ she eyed me.
‘Shuo, why are you beefing me na?’ I chuckled, even though I knew why. She was growing impatient with me. I was like a dog going back to its vomit, she’d said.
‘You better come back with your head corrected if not i’ll kick you out again.’
I laughed, ‘don’t worry, mumsy would take me for deliverance this weekend.’
‘Pfft…I hope deliverance can solve this one. Sha, make sure you bring back that your mum’s special soup for me o.’
I smiled, standing back to survey my work. I had packed a small overnight bag with a few extra clothes I thought my sister would like.
‘Make sure you catch some fine man over there, babe. It’s time to get rid of these old goods of yours.’ Ronke winked at me.
‘Bad girl. Na you dey spoil me.’
As I boarded the bus that evening, I couldn’t help thinking about my friend’s words.
Catch some fine man indeed.
But then again, she probably had a point. Didn’t she always?
My thoughts drifted to Biyi and once again remorse struck my heart.
I should’ve have called him to apologize. I’d said some mean things to him at my party. Things he didn’t deserve.
And even though we hadn’t spoken in over five years, his opinion of me still mattered. We had been friends as children, having each other’s backs, when had that changed?
Or perhaps it was the fact that Jessica had laid claim on him already. But why should that bother me? Biyi was…was what exactly?
An old friend? A possible lover? What?
I settled on old friend. There was nothing between us and even in my dreams or fantasies, there could be nothing. He was taken by that hateful Jessica.
And since when had that ever stopped me?
In University I had been actively pursued for two years by a coursemate of mine who had a girlfriend who was also my coursemate. I’d ended up dating him but just to spite her.
Was that the same thing here?
Did I want Biyi because Jessica had him?