ONE OF US
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”
“Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand! Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”
“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?”
“But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.
“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?”
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest were good friends. They were at a community picnic one day and the priest was eating a ham sandwich. “You know,” he said to his friend, “this ham sandwich is simply delicious. I know you’re not supposed to eat ham, but I don’t understand why something as good as this would be forbidden to you. Why don’t you break down and try one?”
To which the rabbi replied, “Sure, at your wedding.”
- Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
- Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
A young woman enters a confessional and admits, ‘’Last night, my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me —–seven times.’’
The priest ponders this for a while and says, ‘’Squeeze the juice of seven lemons into a glass, then drink it.’’
‘’Will this cleanse me of my sins, Father?’’
‘’No, but it will wipe the smile off your face.’’