Sunday Funnies: Where is Jesus?

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HOLY HUMOUR

SPELL CHECK

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents  and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her-“Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for you!” “Good to see you”.

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word”, Saint Peter told her. “Which word?” the woman asked. “Love.” The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. “I’m surprised to see you”, the woman said. “How have you been?” “Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. 

“I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?”

“You have to spell a word”, the woman told him. “Which word?”, her husband asked.

“Czechoslovakia.”

THINK ABOUT IT

“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.” – Benjamin Disraeli

 QUESTION OF FAITH

QUESTION: How do you make an atheist appreciate life?

ANSWER: Break his legs.

CORNY CHAT UP LINE

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

THE SUNDAY JOKE

WHERE IS JESUS

One day in Sunday school, the teacher was talking about Jesus is to the kids, “Bobby, where is Jesus?” asked the teacher. “Jesus is in heaven.” replied Bobby. “Very good!”, said the teacher. The teacher then asked a little girl,” Where is Jesus, Emily?”. Emily said innocently, “Jesus is in my heart!”. The teacher beamed at little Emily and said, “How very sweet!!!”. The teacher now asked Timmy, “Timmy, where is Jesus?”. “Jesus is in my bathroom.” he said assuredly. “Please elaborate, Timmy.”, the teacher said. Timmy then replied, “Well, every morning my dad gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells. Jesus Christ, are you still in there!!!”

What Do You Think?

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