A pastor wound up his preaching on death with this solemn statement, “By this time next year, I am sure that some member of this parish will die.” Every face in the congregation wore an expression of doom and dread, every face but that of a man who was broadly smiling, even chuckling. “What’s so funny?” demanded the minister. “I’m thinking,” answered the man, “I’m not a member of this parish.”
THINK ABOUT IT
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
ARE YOU WHAT YOU EAT?
Jerry: “I’ve eaten beef all my life and now I’m as strong as a bull.”
Paul: “That is queer. I’ve eaten fish all my life and yet I can’t swim a stroke.”
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
Are you from Tennessee, because you’re the only ten I see?
DID YOU HEAR
Did you hear about the blonde that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?
THE SUNDAY JOKE
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion.
God said, “This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and she will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and she will freely give love and compassion whenever needed.”
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God replied, “An arm and a leg.”
Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”