YOU LOOK DVINE …BUT
The Catholic Church requires women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, “Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse.” “But Father, I have a divine right,” she informs.
“Yes, I see. And your left one isn’t bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter the church!” he insists.
THINK ABOUT IT
“Pretending to know everything closes the door to finding out what’s really there.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson
RUN FOR IT
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press the doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small, and the doorbell is placed at normal adult height, and the little fellow just can’t reach. After watching the boy’s sorry efforts for some time as he moves closer to the boy’s position, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing one hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over the boy and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run like Hell!”
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
If God made anything more beautiful than you, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, “Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t want you to leave!” The kind hearted pastor patted her hand and said “Now, now, Carolyn, don’t carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me”.
“Yeah”, she said, with a tone of disappointment in her voice, “That’s what they said the last time too . . . “