Sunday Funnies: Religious Cut

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HOLY HUMOUR
RELIGIOUS CUT
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

THINK ABOUT IT
If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Robin Williams

CORNY CHAT UP LINE
If I had 11 roses and you, I’d have a dozen. 


DID YOU HEAR
WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE
Did you hear about three men traveling on a ship, when they are accosted by the Devil? The Devil proposes that if each man drops something into the sea and he cannot find it, he will be that man’s slave. If the Devil does find it, however, he will eat that man up. The first man drops a pure, clear diamond, and immediately gets eaten. The second drops an expensive gold bracelet, trying to impress the Devil, and gets eaten. The third man fills a bottle with water and pours it into the sea yelling, “You think I’m a fool? Try finding that!”

THE SUNDAY JOKE
I DON’T BELONG
A pastor was preaching about death to his congregation.
He said, “One day, every member of this parish is going to die!”
A man sitting in the front row pew began to laugh.
The pastor repeated, “I said, one day, every member of this parish is going to die!” Again the man laughed out loud.
The irritated pastor asked, “ Excuse me sir, can you let me know what you find so funny?”
The man replied, “I’m not a member of this parish!”

Photo-Credit: http://www.insidewomanmag.com

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