HOLY HUMOUR
Sunday, on the return of her young daughter from church a mother asked her what the lesson for the Sunday was about.
The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”
Needless to say, the Mom was at a loss at her answer. Later in the day, she met the pastor in the local store and asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about. He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”
THINK ABOUT IT
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? – Robin Williams
IF
If you can hear music coming out of your printer does it mean the paper’s jammin’ again?
DID YOU HEAR
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
PARTY POOPER PROF
A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are working through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and out comes a Genie in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the grad student. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless.” Poof! He’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.” Poof! He’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the professor.
The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after launch.”
EGG ON.
A man goes to the Doctors and he says, “Doctor, I’m reallu worried about my brother, he thinks he’s a hen!”
The Doctor says, “Well have you taken him to see a psychiatrist?”
Man: “Are you kidding? We need the eggs!”