Sunday Funnies: Now You See It, Now You Don’t

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HOLY HUMOUR

SOON THEY WILL KNOW

A teacher was watching her class as they drew, walking around and occasionally stopping to see a child’s artwork. She got to one little girl working diligently on her picture. “What are you drawing?” the teacher asked.

“God,” said the little girl.

“But nobody knows what God looks like,” said the teacher.

“They will in a minute,” the girl replied.

THINK ABOUT IT

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all’

IF

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments.

CORNY CHAT UP LINE

Do you know CPR, because you take my breath away? 

DID YOU HEAR

HE: “You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts…

HIM: Man, and do you have life?

HE: OMG, No! Could you send me a link?”

THE SUNDAY JOKE

NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON’T

Taking up painting, an asylum inmate worked for weeks on his masterpiece. When he finally showed it to his asylum doctors, they were stunned. The canvas was entirely blank.

“It’s lovely,” said the psychiatrist, “but, er … what is it?”

“Why,” he proudly replied, “it’s a painting of the exodus from Egypt.”

“I see,” said another doctor. “Actually, what I don’t see is the Red Sea.”

“Ah,” said the inmate, “it’s been parted … driven back, as it says in the Old Testament.”

“And the Israelites?” “They have already passed through.”

“And what about the Egyptians?” demanded another. “Are you blind?” said the artist, growing indignant. “They haven’t arrived yet.”

What Do You Think?

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