HOLY HUMOUR
No Preacher in Heaven
A man and a woman, who were friends for many years, died and went to heaven. They told St. Peter they wanted to get married in Heaven.
“Take your time and think about it,” said St. Peter. “You have an eternity to think about it here. I’ll send you back to Earth for the time being. Come back and talk to me about it in 50 years.
Fifty years later the couple, now very elderly, returned, and again told St. Peter they still wanted to get married in Heaven.
“Take your time and think some more about it,” St. Peter said. “Come back and see me in another 50 years, and if we don’t have a preacher up here by then, I’ll marry you myself.
YES, WHY?
Why is it that when you talk to God, it’s called praying?
Whenever God talks to me, they call it schizophrenia.
WE HAVE THE MONEY; YOU’VE GOT THE MONEY.
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.
The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”
THE SUNDAY JOKE
FAMILY LINAGE
A little girl asked her mother, “Where did people come from?”
Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that’s how all mankind was made.”
A couple of days later she asked her father the same question.
The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, which the human race evolved from.”
The confused little girl returned to her mother and said, “Mommy, how is it possible that you told me that we were created by God, and Daddy said we came from monkeys?”
The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.