Sunday Funnies: Mark 17

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HOLY HUMOUR

THE CAR

A young boy had just got his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.” 
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father’s study where his father said, “Son, I’ve been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut!” 
The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair….” To which his father replied… “Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!”

THINK ABOUT IT

“What happens is fact, not truth. Truth is what we think about what happens.” – Robert McKee

MISSIONARY

A priest is about to go on a missionary trip to Africa. Before he goes he prays to God that he will be safe when he goes. God said ‘Do not fear, I will protect you on the way only if you have complete trust in me’
 So when the priest is walking on a mountain in one African country, there is a huge mudslide and the priest finds himself clinging by his finger nails above a lake full of crocodiles. 
 Soon, a group of tourists come along and ask ‘Do you need any help?’ ‘No, I put my faith in God’ answered the priest
. Later a boat comes along and the people inside ask if he needs any help. Again the priest says ‘No, I put my faith in God’
 Later a people in a helicopter ask the same thing. Again, the priests still put faith in God. 
At that point the priest falls into the lake and gets eaten by the crocodiles. 
In heaven the priest asks, 
’what went wrong? Why did I die? I put my faith in you.’


And God answered 
’Well I don’t know. I sent a helicopter, a boat…..’

CORNY CHAT UP LINE

You don’t need keys to drive me crazy.

THE SUNDAY JOKE

Mark 17

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

What Do You Think?

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