An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”
QUESTION OF FAITH
QUESTION: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
ANSWER: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
A preacher noticed a woman in the congregation who started crying as soon as he started preaching. Thinking he had made a big catch he continued preaching with more passion. The more he preached, the more the woman wailed. After the preaching came testimony time, the preacher pointed to the woman and said, “Sister, I can see you were mightily moved as we preached the word of God. Now can you please share with us what it was that convicted your spirit so much?” The woman hesitated, but the preacher insisted, so she came up and took the microphone. “You see,” she began, “Last year I lost my he-goat, the only precious thing I owned. I prayed and wept so much over it and then I forgot all about it, but as soon as you came out to preach and I saw your beard, it reminded me all over again of the he-goat. I still cry whenever I remember it.”