HOLY HUMOUR
GOD WILL SAVE ME.
One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!!! After about 1 full hour of complete non-stop rain, they started making evacuations because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there in the ankle-deep water. A guy in a car came up to him and said. “Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!” But the preacher just replied, “Don’t worry God will save me.” The man then said “Whatever!” and drove away. The water was now knee-deep and a guy in a raft came over to the Preacher and said “Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!” Despite the second warning the Preacher just stood there and replied, “Don’t worry God will save me.” The man then said “Whatever!!” and rowed away in the orange raft.
The water was now waist-deep and a guy in a power boat came to the Preacher and said “Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!” Despite the third warning the Preacher just stood there and replied, “Don’t worry God will save me.” With that the man said “Whatever!” and jetted away in the powerboat. The water was now neck-deep and a guy in a helicopter came and said “Preacher, Preacher you better get your butt in here before you drown!” The man still just stood there and replied, “Don’t worry God will save me.” And with that the man said “Whatever” and flew away. The water then got so deep that the Preacher was sucked under and died. When he opened his eyes he noticed that he was in heaven. He then saw God and asked “God! Why didn’t you save me from that horrible flood?!?” God then replied, ” I sent you a car, a raft, a power boat, and a helicopter!!! What else do you want from me?!”
THINK ABOUT IT
“I know very little about acting. I’m just an incredibly gifted faker.” – Robert Downey Jr.
QUESTION OF FAITH
QUESTION: How many creationists does it take to change a light bulb?
ANSWER: None! They’ve invented torches!
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
AND GOD CREATED MAN
And God created woman. And she was good. And she had two arms, two legs, and three breasts. God asked woman what she would like to have changed about herself. And she asked for her middle breast to be removed. God removed her middle breast. And it was good. She stood there with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with this useless boob?….. And God created Man.