Sunday Funnies: God is Busy Elsewhere

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HOLY HUMOUR

GOD IS BUSY ELSEWHERE

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

THINK ABOUT IT

“If everything is important, then nothing is.” – Anonymous

IF

If your boyfriend remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs.

CORNY CHAT UP LINE

Was your father an alien, because there’s nothing like you on earth? 
      

DID YOU HEAR

Did you hear about that new broom?

It’s sweeping the nation!

THE SUNDAY JOKE

THE JOKE’S ON YOU, YOUR HONOUR

A priest was being honored at his farewell dinner after 25 years in the parish.  A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little leaving speech at the dinner.  He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.  The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss’s wife, had taken illegal drugs. I was appalled.  But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.” 

Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his speech. “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”

What Do You Think?

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