A man walked into the ladies department of a large departmental store, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”
“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.
“Type?” inquires the man.
“There is more than one type?” “Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,” replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what the types were.
The saleslady replied “The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”
Still confused the man asked, “What is the difference between them?”
The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends an angel has touched me?
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said: “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the chicken did?”
THE SUNDAY JOKE
NOW THEY SEE
A man sees a boy with a box of kittens. The man goes over and says “Oh what cute kittens!” The boy replies “Yes they are Christian kittens.” About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says, “My, those are just adorable!” The boy replies, “Yes, they are atheist kittens” The man asks “Wait, weren’t they Christian before?” The boy looks at the man and says, “Yeah but they have their eyes open now”.