Sunday Funnies: As I Found It

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HOLY HUMOUR

GRACE BEFORE MEAL

A man is about to be savaged by a gorilla. Terrified, he cries out to God for help.

A bright light appears in the sky and a voice booms, “Why would I help you when you’ve led a wicked life and never even believed in me?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” says the man. “But I promise that I’ll become a believer if you save me.”

“No,” says God. “It’s too late for you to change now.”

“Well, could you at least make the gorilla a believer?” begs the man.

“No problem,” God replies.

The bright light disappears and the man notices the gorilla has fallen to its knees and putting its paws together says, “For what we are about to receive…”

THINK ABOUT IT

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.  If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

IF

If 50 Cent were a band in Zimbabwe, the would be called “Three Hundred Million Dollars.”

CORNY CHAT UP LINE

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together. 

DID YOU HEAR

“Last night, me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the telly.” Tim Vine

THE SUNDAY JOKE

AS I FOUND IT

A pastor places his order at the pet store: “I need at least 50 rats, 2000 ants and as many cockroaches as you can get.” The clerk replies, “We can probably do that, but it might take some time. Mind if I ask why you are placing such an unusual order?” The pastor replied, “I’ve accepted a call to another church and the congregation council told me to leave the parsonage the way I found it.”

What Do You Think?

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