Sunday Funnies: All Correct

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HOLY HUMOUR
An English lord was traveling through this country with a small party of friends. At a farmhouse the owner invited the party in to supper. The good housewife, while preparing the table, discovering she was entertaining nobility, was nearly overcome with surprise and elation. While seated at the table scarcely a moment’s peace did she grant her distinguished guest in her endeavor to serve and please him. It was “My Lord, will you have some of this?” and “My Lord, do try that,” “Take a piece of this, my Lord,” until the meal was nearly finished. The little four-year-old son of the family, heretofore unnoticed, during a moment of supreme quiet saw his lordship trying to reach the pickle-dish, which was just out of his reach, and turning to his mother said: “Say, Ma, God wants a pickle.”

THINK ABOUT IT
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. –
Mitch Hedberg

ALL CORRECT
Tunde and his father at the end of year Graduation and Awards Ceremony of his school.
As they sat watching amidst loud ovations, the beneficiaries were called to the podium for their awards.
The following conversation ensued:
Announcer: Best student in Physics, the winner is Kenneth.
Father: (Applauds and eyes scornfully) See correct child!
Announcer: Best student in Chemistry. The winner is Bimbo
Father: (Hisses and eyes Tunde) See correct Child.
Announcer: Best student in Fine Arts and the winner is Okoro.
Father: (fuming with anger) See correct children!
The ceremony lasted about two hours; all the awards were presented without any going to Tunde.
At the end of the event, they left and went to the car park but as his dad got ready to start the car, the engine refused to respond.
He opened the bonnet and touched a few things but his efforts did not yield any response so they resorted to pushing it. Just as they got to the exit of the school, the rickety car sparked up.
Exhausted and profusely sweating, Tunde rested on the gate just as his mates were driving off with their parents in exotic cars – Infinity, Land cruisers, Bentley, Lincoln Navigator, Range
Rover, etc.
Tunde sighed heavily and started to laugh out loud.
His puzzled father asked, ’what’s so funny?’
Amidst teary eyes, Tunde responded, ‘See correct fathers!’

CORNY CHAT UP LINE
Are we near the airport, or is that just my heart taking off? 

THE SUNDAY JOKE
Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn’t see very well because of the nun’s little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave.
”I think I’ll move to California, there’s only 50 Catholics there,” said the first man.
“I think I’ll move to Washington, there’s only 25 Catholics there.”
“I think I’ll move to Idaho, there’s only 10 Catholics there.” Then one of the nuns turned around.
“Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there.”

Photo-Credit: http://momsncharge.com

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