SUNDAY FUNNIES

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BIG AND SMALL
Can you tell me why a N1000 note looks so small at the supermarket but so big at church?

SHOUT HALELUYA!
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a Pastor when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”

ANSWERED PRAYER
A businessman needed a million Naira to close an important business transaction. He went to church to pray for the money.
He knelt and started praying next to a man who was praying for ten thousand naira he needed to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed the ten thousand into the other man’s hand.
Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.
The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention….”

HONESTY
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into the river, and he needed it to make his living. The Lord went down in the water and appeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, “No.”
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. “Is this your axe? “ The Lord asked.
“No”, the woodcutter replied.
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. “Is this your axe? “ The Lord asked.
“Yes”, he replied.
The Lord was so pleased with the man’s honesty that He gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy. Later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared again and asked him, “Why are you crying?”
“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the river!” The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.
“Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.
“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”
The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, “Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Jennifer Lopez, you would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don’t want her to share me with anyone, so THAT’S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez.”
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. MOSTLY his lady!
That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.

What Do You Think?

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