Don’t be too hard on your relatives; it’s not their fault either. – Jasper Carrott
Robin. Robin who?
Robin the piggy bank again.
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What is the biggest room in the world?
WISE GUY: The room for improvement!!
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Yinka, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Yinka: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
‘A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.’ – Rodney
POSTCARD FROM LOVE NEST
“Will you be needing anything else?” the bellboy asked the businessman after setting out a dinner table for two in the hotel room.
“No thank you,” the businessman said. “That will be all.”
Then the bellboy noticed a satin negligee on the bed. “Will your wife need anything sir?”
“Yes, that’s a good idea,” the businessman said. “Bring me a postcard.”
“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people. —Thomas L. Masson
A newly wed couple was talking.
Husband: “How many boyfriends did you have before marrying me?”
When his wife wasn’t answering, he said: “Don’t want to tell?”
Wife: “I’m still counting!!”
THE POTENTIAL IS NOT THE REALITY
One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father: Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?
Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question: Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million dollars?
Wife: Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity.
Daddy turns to his teenage daughter: Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?
Daughter: Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.
Daddy turns to his eldest son Tim and asks: Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars?
Tim thinks a little and replies: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.
Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay.