Relax & Laugh: Non for the Road

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LAUGH QUOTE

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a musician.

WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION

QUESTION: What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?

WISE GUY: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

 CUTTING COMMENT
The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn’t have to watch. – Dave Barry

MARRIED LIFE

NON FOR THE ROAD

An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man is in a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: “I must be dreaming of heaven! I smell your grandmother’s strudel!”

“No, grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother is baking strudel now.”

“I know I will never have another taste of her delicious strudel after this one. Could you please go down and get me a piece?”, the old man begs with what is left of his final breath.

One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old man’s last request. After a long time, he returns empty-handed.

“Did you bring me one last piece of your grandmother’s delicious strudel?” the old man plaintively queries.

“I’m very sorry, grandfather, but she says it’s for the funeral.”

THAT’S ODD

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked: “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?”

“The tombstone back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'”

What Do You Think?

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