Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. – Mark Twain
Sadie magic word and watch me disappear!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What part of a car causes the most accidents?
WISE GUY: The nut behind the wheel!!
TEACHER AND STUDENT
DRINK WHISKY – NO WORMS.
A chemistry teacher wanted to teach the 4th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.
“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Little Kunle, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…
“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
A boy after spending great time with his new girlfriend, saw a guy’s photo in her bag .
Boy: Is he your ex-boyfriend?
Girlfriend kissed him and said, “ No dear that’s me before surgery.”
A guy walked in a restaurant for breakfast.A waiter came to him in seconds.
Waiter: Good morning sir what can I get for you?
Guy: Good morning to you too and how much is a cup of tea?
Waiter: 1 dollar and 50 cents.
Guy: And sugar?
Waiter: We do not sell Sugar it’s free.
Guy: Good. Bring 1 cup of tea and 2 Kilograms of sugar.
Sorry, it’s just that I am allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.
A woman advertised in the classifieds: “Husband wanted.” The next day she received 22 replies, all saying the same thing: “You can have mine.”
An American, Nigerian and Chinese were having an argument in a bar.
Chinese man: My country is the most improved country in the world. If you conduct an election today, the next day you will know the winner.
American man: Not bad. My country is way ahead. The day you conduct an election, the result is known same day.
Nigerian man: As far as I am concerned, you are all joking. In my country, before the actual election, we know the winner!!!