“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.” – Natalie Wood
Cows go who?
Cows don’t go who, they go moo!
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: Why is The Great Wall of China among 7 wonders of the world?
WISE GUY: Because it is the only Chinese product which lasted for more than 4 weeks.
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Teacher: “Kemi, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”
Kemi: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
A good way to get to know your date is to ask them about their mother’s maiden name, favorite pet, and their favorite song then log in and read all their emails.
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party, but their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer: “What do you do to stop people asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”
The lawyer said: “I give it to them and then I send them a bill.” Although shocked by this, the doctor agreed to give it a try.
The next day the doctor, acting on the lawyer’s suggestion, was reluctantly putting a number of bills into his mailbox when he found a bill addressed to him. It was from the lawyer.
Some day when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn’t them.
NO MORE QUARRELS
A lady bumping into an old friend after a long time apart, a lady inquired of her: “Hi Chioma, longest time. How is the family? Your husband do you still quarrel now the same as you used to back in the days?”
“No, indeed, all is well,” was the reply.
“That is good. I’m sure you’re very glad of it, aren’t you?”
“I surely am!”
“What caused you to stop quarreling?” the lady asked.
“He died,” replied her friend.