Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard
Aida sandwich for lunch today.
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
WISE GUY: It will simply become wet
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Teacher: Today, we’re going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say, “I am beautiful,” which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
I GIVE UP
Girl: If we got married, will you stop smoking?
Girl: Drinking too.
Girl: Also going to the nightclub.
Girl: What else can you give up?
Boy: The idea of marrying you!
CODE OF SILENCE
An underworld don’s son came home from school after attending his exams.
Father: How was your exam?
Son: They had given me questions to answer within 3 hours, but I did not answer anything or opened my mouth.
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
ADVICE FOR THE WIFE
When you marry him, love him. After you marry him, study him. When he is sad, cheer him. When he is noble, praise him. If he is jealous, cure him. If he is honest, honor him. When he is angry, ignore him. If he is secretive, trust him when he deserves it, kiss him. If he is generous, appreciate him. When he is talkative, listen to him. Let him think how well you understand him. But never let him know you manage him!
Two guys sitting at the bar. One guy yells at the other, “I slept with your mom.”
People at the bar grow silent.
After a while, the guy yells again, “I slept with your mom.”
The other guy responds, “Let’s go home dad, you are drunk.”