Relax And Laugh

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By Charles Anyiam-Osigwe

KNOCK!

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Someone too short to ring the doorbell!

 

SOME CHANGE

A woman lost her handbag in the hustle and bustle of shopping.

An honest young boy found it, ran after her and returned it to her,

She looked into her bag – “Hmmm …that’s funny. When I lost my bag, there were all N1000 notes. Now there are N500 notes.

The boy quickly replied, “That’s right ma. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change to thank me.”

 

NO GREAT LOSS

A President was visiting a primary school and the class he sat through began a discussion related to words and meanings.

The teacher asked Mr. President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So Mr. President asked the class for an example of a tragedy.

One boy stood up and said, “If my best friend was walking along the road and a car looses control and runs him over. That would be a tragedy.”

“NO,” said Mr. President, “that would be an accident.”

Another boy rose up his hand and said, “If a school bus carrying 30 children swerved off a high way killing everyone on boar, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” the President said, “that’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room went silent. Mr. President looks at the class for an answer.

Finally, from the back row, little Tim raised his hand and spoke quietly.

“If the Presidential jet, carrying Mr. President and the First Lady was struck by a missile and blown to smatterings, THAT would be a tragedy.”

“That’s right son! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?” asked the President.

“Well,” Tim said, “because it wouldn’t be an accident and it sure as hell wouldn’t be a Great Loss …”

 

MILLIONS, MILLIONS.

At the end of a job interview, the Human Resources (HR) Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Federal University of Technology, Owerri “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of one million naira a month, depending on the benefits package.” The HR inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, three paid holidays a year, full medical and company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years?” The engineer could not hide his excitement and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The HR replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”

 

BEYOND ZERO

Student: “Excuse me Sir, but I do not think I deserve a naught in this test.”

Teacher: “Neither do I, but that is the lowest grade I can give you.”

 

Image: movemag.co.za 

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