Relax And Laugh: Share The Booty

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By Charles Anyiam-Osigwe

NO PROBLEM WITH SLEEP                

The two ladies were gossiping about their husbands. Asked one of the other – “Does it bother you that your husband sleeps with other women?

“Oh no”, her friend replied “it’s what he’s up to while awake with them that bothers me.”

 

SELF-SUPPORTING

Young man, you say you want to marry my daughter – Can you support her?       

“Excuse me Sir, I hope there is nothing wrong with her legs.”

 

ACTION IT

The elegantly dressed lady walked into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, I’ve come about my husband – He thinks of nothing but sex.”

 “Oh dear,” said the doctor “he must do something about it!”

“That’s the problem doctor,” stated the lady “he does nothing – Only thinks!

 

SHARE THE BOOTY

A security guard caught again a young thief and threatened that unless he gave him part of the booty this time he would not let him go free. The boy confessing to the theft said, ‘Master, I only stole a pair of shoes and I’m prepared to give you a part – Would you like the left one or the right one?”

 

 WHAT’S SO FUNNY?

Four young men in sharing a flat on the thirty-ninth floor of an apartment building returned from the nightclub late one night to find that the lift was out of order. Tired though they were, they had to climb their way up. To make it less tiresome, the four decided that one of them should tell a funny story on every other floor while they rested. On the thirty-seventh floor, while they were taking their final rest, the one whose turn it was to tell a story said: “Well guys, I’ve got the funniest story of all, we’ve left the key on the ground-floor

 

 MATERIAL GIRL

There goes a Good Time Girl-She’s got the time whenever you’ve got the goodies

 

STRAIGHT GUY

“Keith”, the wife said “Are you having an affair with another woman?” Keith: “Well you don’t expect me to have an affair with a man do you?

 

SMALL INSULT

Said the diner to the waiter – “ I haven’t got much money on me, so I won’t insult you by giving you a two hundred Naira tip”.

Waiter: “ No problem Sir, go ahead and insult me even though I was expecting you will slap me with a hundred dollar bill.”

 

 MIND YOUR BUSINESS

It was one of those parties where everyone talked through the nose. This well dressed guy walks up to this pretty looking chick says, “Hi, my name is Jim and I’m a businessman”. “Hi, replied the chick, “My name is Jane and I’m none of your business!”   

 

Image source: funnyjunk.com

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