People say love is the best feeling, but I think finding a toilet when you’ve got diarrhea is better
ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!
SOFT AND HARD
A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, “I’m sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you’ll forgive me.” so the woman replies, “If what you have got down below is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 201.”
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
Question: Did you catch that fish?
Wise Guy: No, it’s a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations.
This Will Kill You
A Ghanaian man, American man and Nigerian man were lost in a forest and were captured by Cannibals. The king of the Cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if… they pass a trial.
The 1st step was to go deep into the forest and get ten (10) pieces of the same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Ghanaian man came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.”
The king explained the trial to him, “You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.
The 1st apple went in but on the 2nd one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The American man arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought that it should be as easy as 123 for him but when he ate the 9th berry, he suddenly began to laugh out loud and was killed.
In heaven, the Ghanaian asked the American, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial.”
The American man replied: “I couldn’t help it, I saw the Nigerian man coming back with 10 watermelons!”
“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”
BLACK DAY FOR THE MAN
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”
His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”