Relax And Laugh

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By Charles Anyiam-Osigwe

 

KNOCK, KNOCK

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Rita

Rita Who?

Rita book, you might learn a thing or two.

 

BARK BOY! BARK.

Teacher: “Tunde, what is the outside layer of a tree called?

Tunde: “Don’t know.”

Teacher: “Bark, Tunde, bark.”

Tunde: “Woof, Woof!”

 

CASHING IN

Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man went to eat lunch together at a restaurant.

While in the middle of their meal, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just swat at it with his hands but missed.

The fly then flew to where the Yoruba man was; he waved his hands to stop it perching on his food.

Finally, the fly flew over to where the Chinese man was and hovered over his food.

Chinese man observed the fly for sometime then with a quick move with his hand grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it.

The other men saw this but just kept on eating.

About Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again.

It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not swat it, but instead observed it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then

turned to the Chinese man and said, “Make me an offer” 

 

MONKEY BUSINESS

A young boy asked his father, “How did human beings come about? So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “Man evolved from monkeys to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mother was talking about her side of the family.”

 

NONE PERFORMER

A man and his wife were having an argument. It was really a nasty one.

All sorts of non-palatable epithets flew around.

As they turned in for the night, the man turned to his wife and said, “goodnight mother of four!”

“Good night father of none!”

 

YOU NAME IT

“Look darling”, said the man to his wife – “I won’t call sleeping with my beautiful secretary adultery.”

‘’What will you call it? She screamed – “speedwriting? Shorthand? What!?

“Dumb! That’s what I will call it – Dumb! ‘Cos I should stay awake doing the business.”

 

 

Image: /www.whur.com 

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