HOLY HUMOUR
LOCAL CALL
There were three guys in Hell – Nigerian, American, and a Chinese man. They asked Satan to let them call their family. The American called and talked for 10 minutes. He paid $1,000. The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes. He paid $2,000. The Nigerian talked for an hour and only paid $10. The other men complained and Satan responded, “A call from Hell to Hell is local.”
THINK ABOUT IT
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – Steve Martin
IF
If I die in my sleep, at least I can actually say that I died doing what I loved.
DID YOU HEAR
“My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards” – Sarah Millican
CORNY CHAT UP LINE
You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
DAFT VIEWER
One day, Dele and Dubem were watching a soap opera on television. On the show, there was a girl standing on a bridge. Dele turned to Dubem and said, “I bet you N1000 that she’s going to jump off that bridge.”
Dele agreed to the bet. The girl in the show jumped off the bridge, and Dubem handed Dele the N1, 000. Then Dele felt guilty and said, “This is a re-run I already saw, and I knew she was going to jump.” To which Dubem replied, “I saw it before too, but I didn’t think the girl would be stupid enough to do it again!”