A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
“Reverend,” said the young man, “I’m so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”
The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”
CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS.
- Don’t let your worries get the best of you; Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
- Many folks want to serve God, But only as advisers.
- It is easier to preach ten sermons Than it is to live one.
- The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but
mosquitoes come close.
FREE TO GO
An elderly couple, both 95, had been married for 75 years, but now they came to the pastor and said they both wanted a divorce. The pastor became more than surprised. - “Why?”, he asked. “Why do you want to divorce at this age, why not before?”
“Well, you see pastor,” said the old husband, “we could not divorce because of the children. We could not separate when they still were alive.”
COOKED YOUR GOOSE
Confessor: “I have stolen a fat goose from a poultry yard!”
Priest: “That is very wrong. ”
Confessor: “Would you like to accept it, Father?”
Priest: “Certainly not – return it to the man you stole it from.”
Confessor: “But I have offered it to him and he won´t have it. ”
Priest: “In that case you you may keep it yourself.”
Confessor: “Thank you, Father. ”
(The priest arrived home to find one of his geese had been stolen).
THE SUNDAY JOKE
A Mormon acquaintance once inveigled Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After he had been beaten about the ears with long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the climax was capped by the Mormon´s demand that he cites any passage of Scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.
“Nothing easier,” Mark replied. “No man can serve two masters.”