Love & Sex: Finding The Right Person (Part 2)


By Mimi Adebayo

(Continued from last week)

Love, dating and relationships involve discarding selfishness as best as you can.

  • Be the right person. You should know that the same way you are looking for someone to share your life with, some other person is looking for the same thing and if everyone focuses on getting the right person instead of being one, we all end up with unfinished products.

If you want an educated or widely read man or woman; ensure that you are well rounded academically. That way you find yourself in the company of people who think like you. If you want someone interesting with a sense of humour; don’t be too boring, learn to laugh at jokes.

Ladies, instead of looking around for a man to meet your needs and pay your bills, be a woman who is generous, someone who won’t need to be a leech to whoever comes around her.

Some people think that they need a man/woman to change them or make them better persons but the truth is if you don’t like who you are now, nobody else will. So, get your act together and be the kind of person you want to meet.

  • Know what you want. Whenever Emeka was asked the kind of woman he wanted, he said he wanted someone who would make him happy. Now, if you ask me that’s quite vague and stupid.

If you don’t know what you want, he/she would walk right by you and you would have no clue, if you don’t know what you want you might be having a discussion with a potential spouse and you would be none the wiser. Know what you want so you can discard of people that you don’t want. If you don’t know what you want you end up accommodating all kinds of people without a sense of direction.

There are some things in a man/woman that run deeper than good looks on the outside; what does he/she believe in? What are the values guiding him/her? Does he/she forgive easily? Is he/she a control freak? Do we have anything in common?

Try to think beyond your nose for a moment because a time will come in your relationship where love will not be enough and you would both have to face hard facts about each other.

  • Be ready to love. It’s easy for people to think that they are ready for love, however being ready for love is different from being ready to It is easier to be prepared for love, after all love can spring on you even at unexpected moments. The question is; are you ready to love someone that is not you? Are you ready to put someone else before yourself? Are you ready to think about someone else’s needs before yours? Are you ready to share their hurt and pain? Their excitements, their trials, their problems? Are you ready to take someone else’s shit? Are you ready to compromise? Are you ready to accept all of them, the good, bad and ugly? These are questions you must ask yourself before while waiting or looking for the right person.

Love isn’t an easy game but it is a rewarding one. Finding the right person is a very delicate matter especially if you’re planning to go to the altar with them.

Remember, you must love yourself before you can appreciate anyone who is willing to love you.

What Do You Think?


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