I need help desperately. I am in my late thirties and I am here all alone with nobody to talk to. I have been dating a married man in his late fifties for the past three years. He is a very busy executive and travels a lot on business trips. We met on one of his trips. I love him. I truly love him. I know I am stupid. He has been married for about thirty years and has four children. And, I’ve just found out that I am pregnant with his child.
He has told me in the past that at his age he does not want to have any more children. His children are now adults, and he is looking forward to grandchildren. At my age, abortion is out of the question, I want to keep the child. I feel so alone.
I am really afraid. I feel lost. I do not know what to do!
I just need help. Please advise.
Do you want advice on the relationship? It is a no brainer! He’s married and not available for you. You need to seriously consider ending the relationship.
As for your baby, since you are opposed to having an abortion and want to have the baby, you have to pull yourself together and prepare for the life of a single mother. Yes, you will be a single mom if you have the baby, as I doubt your boyfriend will leave his wife and family for you. I know it’s not going to be easy because you love him, want him and pray he leaves his wife and family and spends the rest of his life with you. This, as I said earlier, is not likely to happen.
I would not advise you become a drama queen, crying to him about how you love him and now that you are carrying his baby he should do the right thing by you and leave his family and marry you. What you might get is a man who is mightily upset with you, and he may think that you are setting him up for blackmail. This is not going to be pretty.
So chin up girl! This is a good time to take stock of your life and make some much needed changes. Make up your mind to leave a lying cheater of a man, and figure out how you will take care of yourself and your baby. I think it’s also a good idea to consider his wife and children. No doubt you haven’t given them much thought before. Finding out one’s husband keeps a mistress is bad enough, but to discover he’s having a child with her is even more painful.
So, put an end to the relationship and have your baby if that is what you want. Get a hold of yourself and get practical with your life. ‘Late thirties’ does not mean that your love life is over. You may meet a man in the future who will love you and your baby.