Dear Dorothy: Peace In the Home

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Dear Dorothy,

I have been married for about five years. My husband and I have had our ups and downs along the way. My main complaint is that I thought marriage was going to be easier than I’ve found it to be. I thought once a married couple sets up a home together, the home should be a haven of peace, a place of relaxation, reinvigoration and comfort, and not a place where arguments and misunderstandings are the order of the day.

Dorothy how does a couple make their home one of harmony and peace?

My Dear,

It is important to realise that marriage is not primarily about having things easy between the married couple. Certainly a home should be a place of peace and harmony, but with all the intricacies of marital relationships, every marriage can be expected to have both its ups and downs especially at the beginning when the couple are now living under the same roof and getting to know each other better.

Nothing in life that is worth doing happens without effort. It takes determination, sticktoitiveness, energy, and resilience, and there are learning curves at each new stage of life.

When it comes to disagreements in your marriage, always err on the side of caution. Whatever the issue or point of disagreement, don’t dismiss the other person’s point of view or misgivings casually. Instead, be cautious enough to examine all the viewpoints.

In all matters of disagreement — even in something that seems quite trivial, the solution is to proceed with carefulness, thoughtfulness, and attentiveness. Rather than become annoyed, always seek to understand.

Good luck.

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