Dear Dorothy: My Wife Fakes Orgasms


Dear Dorothy,

I have been married to my wife for about three years, and we are blessed with a lovely daughter. We courted for two years before marriage. Due to her religious beliefs, we never engaged in any sexual activities during courtship. I love my wife, but the problem is that I do not think she enjoys having sex with me. I sometimes think she fakes her orgasms. I am really not comfortable with this situation in the bedroom. What should I do?

My dear,

It is really surprising to me that most couples do not realize that the best formula for a successful marriage is open and honest communication between the two parties. However, most couples have no idea how to go about establishing one in their relationship. Couples should strive to learn to talk to each other openly and honestly. This may not be easy for most couples but I tell you, the effort is worth it. You my dear sir, have to discuss openly with your spouse about her sexual needs and desires.

Faking an orgasm can be a woman’s way of covering up her own insecurities in the bedroom. Some women may fake it so that they feel less pressured by their performance. So how can you make her feel more confident? Try some pillow talk. Tell her how sexy you think she is and how you find her irresistible.  You can share some of your fantasies of how you want to please her. This will make her feel more comfortable with herself; and also feel more comfortable with expressing herself sexually.

You must also remember that women prefer to engage in intercourse with extensive foreplay. Women love to be caressed and fondled. Foreplay is important because it has the ability to improve sexual functioning and satisfaction. Take time to learn the parts of her body that really arouses her as you caress her. 

Another point to note: if a woman has other pressing issues on her mind, she may be less sexually responsive. So how exactly can you put her at ease? Listen to her concerns about issues bothering her, and offer her moral support. Women who feel comforted by their partners are more likely to express themselves sexually.

So, taking all these into consideration, talk to your wife. I am sure you can resolve your dilemma. Good luck.

What Do You Think?


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