My eighteen year old daughter in her first year of university has been given a lot of expensive gifts and presents including jewellery from her so called boyfriend, a man whom I understand is in his early thirties. Recently she showed me a very flashy and expensive necklace, and I was astounded when she told me it was gold and worth a lot of money. Dorothy I am really worried that my daughter has not imbibed the values I brought her up with, and is been influenced by her peers at her university. When I was young, girls did not accept expensive presents from men as it looked as if they were being ‘bought’. What do you think?
When we were young, many things were different – you could hardly see people kissing in films, but now you have full-blown sex shown on television. The moral code of this age in my opinion leaves a lot to be desired. However, good and proper behaviour is a constant through the ages.
My concern here is that at eighteen, is your daughter ready for a serious relationship? Should she not be facing her studies and dating boys closer to her age? What is the intention of the man who is giving her so many gifts, is she his plaything or is he serious with their relationship and is looking into making a life with her?
Youth can be very confusing, and I will urge you to discuss this relationship in a rational manner with your daughter. Let it be a discussion and not a one-sided talk with you telling her what is right or wrong. Both of you should reason together.
Try to make your daughter understand that she should be more into her studies at this stage, and not into men and material things. She should also avoid the friends who are into men and material comforts.