Dear Dorothy,
I am a 24 year old professional, and in a well-paid job. The problem is that although I have been on dates since my university days with guys, I am still a virgin.
I was in a steady relationship with some guy for 18 months before we broke up because he wanted us to be intimate, while I wanted to wait till we were married. I want to remain a virgin until I am married.
The fact that I am still a virgin makes some of my friends think I’m odd. I personally do not think that there is anything wrong with me, as I see no reason to have sex outside a committed and steady relationship within a marriage.
What do you think about my position? I will be very pleased to know your opinion.
My Dear,
Intimacy isn’t just about two people having sex, it is also about your emotions and feelings towards the other person. It is not something you rush into, treat or take casually.
I must say that your mail encourages me that there are young women out there who respect themselves and love themselves enough to know that there is really nothing to be gained by being sexually active just for the sake-of-sex-for-sex-sake. I would recommend you do not let anyone make you feel that you are odd because you are not. Sex is best in a committed relationship like marriage with a person you know well enough, and that you love and care about because you are giving away something that you’ll never ever get back.
Most girls who have slept with someone they have little or no emotional attachment to often regret it because they wish they had the relationship with someone who they loved and respected, and vice versa.
Also bear in mind that sex whether casual or not can result in pregnancy or Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs); and some of these STDs can be quite nasty and can have awful consequences for one’s life. It may do well for girls to consider clearly if the guy they want to sleep with is someone they could risk a pregnancy or an STD with? Could you imagine having to debate whether or not you want to keep the child from a pregnancy out of wedlock, what name will the child bear, where will the child live, and everything else. Sex can be great fun and enjoyable, but there are consequences that may come with sex, so it is better to be safe than sorry.
I do agree one hundred percent with your stance. I don’t know if you believe in soul mates or not, but there’s somebody out there for you.