I have been dating a young man of 28 years for the past five years. I am 24. We met when we were at university. He has asked me to marry him but if I am to be honest with myself, I do not think we are compatible for a lifetime relationship. I have been looking for a way to end the relationship without hurting him too much but have just not been able to find a way to effect it.
Dorothy how can I end this relationship so that we can both move on with our love lives?
Love doesn’t always have happy endings. Whether the person is your lover or spouse or friend or relative, deciding to end the love is a personal matter. Every person may make a conscious decision to end the love with someone at some point in his or her life. When relationships come to an end, the emotion of feeling downhearted and broken is normal for one or both of the parties. It is therefore important to put these feelings in perspective.
It is also important for you to outline why you want to end the relationship. One should also be clear that the reason that one is ending a relationship is to be constructive not destructive.
Once a relationship is over, the parties involved may feel pain and pity, but this should inspire personal growth and happiness in you and the other person, rather than an implosion of self-defeating or blame-game attitude and behavior.
Ending a loving relationship does result in heartache, and sometimes even a mental breakdown. But how one chooses to react when a relationship ends is entirely the individual’s responsibility.
Since you are convinced that there is no future in the relationship, do both you and your friend a favour and end the relationship.