Dear Dorothy,
I’ve been seeing this man for about a year, but there is something that is starting to get to me about our relationship.
We met each other at a friend’s birthday party and got on quite well; and this led to our dating each other. However, I am uneasy about the way he talks about other women he’s met or dated in the past.
He is quite good looking and I am sure he attracts a lot of admirers, but I am upset by his talk about other women. I think it is in bad taste and disrespectful to be bragging or trying to impress me with how eligible other women find him. He insists he likes me and wants us to be together. However, I do not think that telling someone you want to be with about other women is the way to express your love.
I find this kind of talk hurtful. Should I put an end to this relationship so that he can go chase his other women? Please advice.
My dear,
You should be very wary of a man who constantly talks about all the women he has been with in the past or who now want him. How would he feel if the roles were reversed and you were the one going on about the men in your life? I am sure he will feel very inadequate and unwanted. He surely wouldn’t appreciate you saying such things to him. This is a red flag. The truth is, this guy is not sure whether he wants to be with you, even if he says differently from time to time.
Secondly, he is being downright rude. Why should he be making a song and dance about his other women?
Thirdly, to me, it seems like he wants you to feel a little insecure by making you seem “less attractive” because he is superficially comparing you to other women. This is quite unkind of him. He should not be comparing you to anybody because we are all unique as individuals.
I’d honestly advise you end this relationship, and look for someone else because I cannot see an end to his behaviour. He sounds like he spends a great deal of time thinking about appearances and looks, and very little time thinking about being sensitive and empathetic. He should not keep you on edge and make you feel like you are not good enough. Sorry, but this guy sounds like a jerk. He is downright rude, insensitive and to say the least immature. Let him loose to date all those other women. This will leave you free to meet and date someone who can appreciate you, for you.
Good luck!
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