I am 25 years old, and my husband is 62. My parents arranged this marriage because they reasoned if I married him, he will support our family. I accepted it as an opportunity to uplift my family. It is now five years since we got married and we have 2 beautiful children. It suited me then as I was into dating older men for what I could get from them. Now, I have all the comforts money can buy but I feel very lonely and alone. My husband is a very busy man who runs his own organisation and hardly has time for me.
I also feel I am missing out on my youth and not doing the things I should be doing at my age. I compare my life to others’ and it makes me feel bad. I feel that in the years to come, I will look back full of regrets as to why I married so young and to a much older man. I don’t want to live my life always wondering what could have been. I don’t think I know what love is or is supposed to be. I am so lost and confused and depressed about it. I am tempted to find a young man in his late twenties or early thirties, and possibly begin an affair.
I wish I knew what to do. Please advice.
It is not advisable to marry for anything but love, and to someone you are convinced you can share a lifetime together. In all honesty, I am not one to encourage couples to marry one another when the age difference is great like in your case. A great problem with these type of marriages is that oftentimes, the younger person feels they are “missing out” on many fun things they should be doing at their age.
When I read your mail, my mind went to some of the lyrics of a song “Lyin Eyes” by the Eagles:
City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won’t have to worry
She’ll dress up all in lace and go in style
Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice
So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who’s feelin’ down
But he knows where she’s goin’ as she’s leavin’
She is headed for the cheatin’ side of town
Yes, a rich old man and you won’t have to worry. You will dress in finery and go in style. Surely, the fancy house will get lonely.
DEFINITLY every form of refuge has it price. Of course it will break your heart that you married for love of money instead of the love and loving we all crave. And heading for the cheating side of town, by having an affair with a man closer to your age is jumping from the frying pan into fire. You can’t eat your cake and have it. If your husband discovers that you are cheating on him, my guess is that he will throw you out. So you have to think clearly and decide whether you can live without love and make the best of the situation you got yourself into, or end the marriage and hope to find a man closer to your age to begin a new life. Either way, it won’t be easy.
However I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide.