Dear Dorothy,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years, and he recently proposed to me. I was excited at his proposal because I love him so much. I however sought advice from my mother about his proposal before going ahead to accept. She said that she was happy for me but asked if we knew each other’s genotype status. I was taken aback because we had not taken the time to find out. I informed my fiancé and we took the test. You can imagine my sadness when the test proved that we were both AS, giving us the possibility of having children with the Sickle-cell disease.
The truth is that I have an aunty who is AS genotype married to a man who is AS genotype. Of their eight children, four are sicklers and three have died under the age of 23 from the disease. I have personal experience of the pain and the trauma that those with sickle cell and their family members go through. I know that I honestly will not like to see any child I bring into this world suffer through this terrible disease.
As much as it hurts, I believe it is the best thing to put an end to our relationship and plans of marriage. Dorothy, what do you think?
My dear,
I admire your bravery and common sense to know that even though love answers all things, there are times it is best to let our head rule over our heart, and this is one of those times. In the past when couples married each other without the benefit of knowing their genotypes, they could not blame themselves for having children who had the sickle cell disease. Now in these modern times, it will be foolhardy to go ahead and marry when you are both AS.
Please don’t let anyone tell you that because God directed you and your fiancé to each other, that he will take control. Recall that when the devil was tempting Jesus and asked him to take a jump because scripture says, his angels will rescue him, Jesus told the devil that the same scripture said, we should not tempt the Lord our God.
So my dear, even though it is hard for you to let go of your beloved, it is best you end the relationship to avoid future heartaches of coping with children who are sicklers. I also do not think the children will be happy with both of you, that knowing your status you defied common sense and went ahead to get married.
Good luck.