The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive. – Coco Chanel
Luke through the peep hole and find out.
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
WISE GUY: No time at all, the wall is already built.
TEACHER AND STUDENT
TEACHER: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? STUDENT:I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Jill: Whatever happened to that couple who met in the revolving door?
Jane: I think they’re still going around together.
A man took his dog to the vet. “Sorry,” said the vet, “but your dog is dead.” Distraught the man asks the vet for a second opinion – the vet brings in the practice cat. Cat sniffs around – no response from the dog. Vet says, “sorry, but your dog is dead.” Man insists on a third opinion, so the vet brings in the practice Labrador.
Practice dog sniffs around – no response from man’s dog. Reluctantly the man accepts the dog is dead. On the way out, the receptionist gives him a bill for N10, 000. “What! Why is the bill so high?” “Well, said the receptionist, “It’s N2, 000 for the vet,
N3, 000 for the cat scan and N5, 000 for the lab report.”
I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.
– Coco Chanel
A Nigerian man and white American guy were seated on plane. The Nigerian man had to a bunch of banana, while the white American guy had a monkey.
The Nigerian man wanted to use the toilet, he said to the white guy; Please watch over my bananas, while am gone. He went came back and found out that the bananas were all gone.
The white guy pointed at the monkey and said; your brother here; ate all of them.
The Nigerian man said nothing. Minutes later, the white guy said, please hold my monkey while I pee. He came back and met the monkey dead. He asked the Nigerian man what happened and he replied; this is family matter, please stay out of it.
AN OFFICER AND A COWARD
Recruiting officer to prospective soldier –
Officer: We need you in the army.
Man: I’ll join but on three conditions.
Officer: Ok. What are the conditions?
Man: My first condition is that I’ll not wear the uniform because it is hot.
Officer: Ok. What is the second condition?
Man: I’ll not do the parade and other training under the sun because it is hot. I’ll only do it under the shed or some kind of shadow cover.
Officer: Ok. What is your third condition?
Man: And my last and most important condition is that during war times, I’ll remain on leave.