By Charles O. Anyiam-Osigwe
“Love is like the ocean. Always there – always different” – Ogden Nash
Remember the song – “Fifty ways to leave your Lover” by Paul Simon?. A lady friend of mine once told me that this song made her very angry. “How dare anyone make suggestions about how to leave one’s lover?” she questioned indignantly. She was more comfortable with the Beatles song that tells us – “All you need is love, love is all you need.”
Well, it is universally agreed that where parties to a relationship make the necessary effort to keep a relationship going and happy, they stand a better chance of having a successful relationship.
With this in mind, and the fact that most women think that the majority of us men don’t have a clue as to how to have a loving relationship here is my little contribution towards making us men better lovers.
Here goes – YOUR LESSON IN LOVE AND LOVING: FIFTY WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR LOVER.
Read, learn and implement – (with a bit of luck, your love life will blossom).
1. Treat her like a queen, ravish her like a whore.
2. Presents bring joy. No matter how small or big, however expensive or cheap, it shows you thought of the person.
3. Men find it difficult to voice their feelings. Tell her you love her often and please mean it.
4. Make sure your relationship has warmth.
5. Pay her compliments on her looks and outfits.
6. Lovemaking is not: ‘Wham! Bang! Thank you mam!” – it is appreciating your partner’s need for a pleasurable union.
7. Try to remember and celebrate (not necessarily elaborately) important dates in your relationship-Day you met, your first date, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
8. Remember that love is like a garden; you have to nurture it for it to blossom.
9. Provide thoughtfully for her physical and emotional needs.
10. Occasional love notes are not out of place.
11. Be alive to your responsibilities towards her.
12. Make her feel like a million dollars no matter the competition.
13. Pray together as one.
14. Take her out occasionally to visit friends and family.
15. Make her realize that you really do enjoy her company.
16. Compliment her culinary efforts.
17. Share jokes and anecdotes with her. Lighten up!
18. Show by your actions that you care. Be demonstrative.
19. Be dependable- someone she can lean on.
20. Steal kisses from her occasionally.
21. Help occasionally around the house.
22. Fuss over her when she’s not feeling too well.
23. Be kind to her.
24. Watch romantic movies together.
25. Prove yourself trustworthy do not give her cause to suspect your are fooling around.
26. See the humor in her jokes.
27. Sweet-talk her from time to time.
28. Over look some of her shortcomings. You’ve got yours too.
29. Act on the premise that “love bears all things”.
30. Be her closest friend and confidant.
31. Cuddle up often not necessarily for lovemaking.
32. Mock fighting; everyone enjoys it
33. Affectionately hold her hands alone and in public places
34. Good humored teasing.
35. Help out with the children.
36. Pay attention (listen) and consider her point of view
37. Show by your actions that you are proud of her.
38. Give her an affectionate nickname. Regard her with the affection you have for your mother.
39. Present her with the first rose from the garden.
40. Bring her tea/coffee in bed.
41. Tell her she makes you feel very manly.
42. Make her feel she’s the sexiest woman on earth.
43. Bring home her favorite snacks occasionally.
44. Show her that you trust her.
45. Give her cash gifts.
46. Make sure she is your “one and only”.
47. Fun sexy games makes her feel wanted.
48. Show concern for those she cares about.
49. Surprise her with a Second Honeymoon package.
50. Pray together.
Charles O. Anyiam-Osigwe is the co-author of HIV/AIDS Education Quiz Book to be republished under the Pride Publications imprint in 2014. He is also the co-author of Things I Wish Mummy and Daddy Told Me About Sex: A Sex Education Quiz Book to be published by Pride Publications in 2015
Image: uptownmagazine.com